My foster daughter, whom I will call Tara, had a visit today. I was relieved that her mom actually showed up, especially being that she has a no show tendency. I have heard today from two different case aides, these are the people who supervise the visits, that Tara has some major issues with reverting to baby like tendencies when around "mom". I was also told that she is a completely different little girl as soon as she is around mom. Apparently she wants all the attention and doesn't want mom to give any attention to her older brother. She starts to suck her thumb, a habit that isn't displayed much here. Tara also whines when at visits if she doesn't get her way...something I WILL NOT tolerate. I can't handle whining, it hurts my brain.
I think a lot about what is inside her at such a young age. What spurs her actions and emotions. Did she have all the attention at home and now that she has to share with brother she doesn't like it? I know that at home, before the children were removed, mom thought Tara was an angel that did no wrong. Mom blamed Tara's older brother for all the wrong doing and trouble that happened. Maybe now mom is seeing that it wasn't all brother?
Tara has told me several times that it is her brother, Brady's, fault that they were removed. That if he didn't talk back to mom, Kara, none of this would've happened. I've tried to explain that no amount of back talk enables a parent to hit a child in the manner that their mom hit them. When I told her this she said "so, mom hits us all the time." These kids were brought into care because of abuse to the brother. Apparently no marks were left on Tara. My heart breaks for these kids.
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